诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第3章Part 16

"Yeah." Paul D smiled with her. "Must have been five of them perched up there, and at least fiftyhens."

"Mister, too?"
"Not right off. But I hadn't took twenty steps before I seen him. He come down off the fence postthere and sat on the tub."
"He loved that tub," said Sethe, thinking, No, there is no stopping now.
"Didn't he? Like a throne. Was me took him out the shell, you know. He'd a died if it hadn't beenfor me. The hen had walked on off with all the hatched peeps trailing behind her. There was thisone egg left. Looked like a blank, but then I saw it move so I tapped it open and here come Mister,bad feet and all. I watched that son a bitch grow up and whup everything in the yard."
"He always was hateful," Sethe said.
"Yeah, he was hateful all right. Bloody too, and evil. Crooked feet flapping. Comb as big as myhand and some kind of red. He sat right there on the tub looking at me. I swear he smiled. My headwas full of what I'd seen of Halle a while back. I wasn't even thinking about the bit. Just Halle andbefore him Sixo, but when I saw Mister I knew it was me too. Not just them, me too. One crazy,one sold, one missing, one burnt and me licking iron with my hands crossed behind me. The last ofthe Sweet Home men.
"Mister, he looked so... free. Better than me. Stronger, tougher. Son a bitch couldn't even get outthe shell by hisself but he was still king and I was..." Paul D stopped and squeezed his left handwith his right. He held it that way long enough for it and the world to quiet down and let him goon.
"Mister was allowed to be and stay what he was. But I wasn't allowed to be and stay what I was. Even if you cooked him you'd be cooking a rooster named Mister. But wasn't no way I'd ever bePaul D again, living or dead. Schoolteacher changed me. I was something else and that somethingwas less than a chicken sitting in the sun on a tub."
Sethe put her hand on his knee and rubbed.

“对。”保罗·D同她一起笑了，“上边肯定落了有五只公鸡，还有起码五十只母鸡。”
“‘先生’也在？”
“一开始还没看到。可是我走了不到二十步就瞧见它了。它从栅栏上走下来，坐在木盆上。”
“它喜欢那个木盆。”塞丝说着，心中暗想：不好，现在停不下来了。
“可不是吗？像个宝座似的。知道么，是我把它从鸡蛋壳里提溜出来的。要不是我，它早憋死了。那一只老母鸡走开时，身后跟了一大群刚孵出的小鸡崽。就剩下这一个鸡蛋了。好像是个空壳，可后来我看见它在动弹，就把它敲开了，出来的就是‘先生’，脚有点瘸，一身的毛病。我眼看着那个狗崽子长大，在院子里横行霸道。”
“它总是那么可恨。”塞丝道。
“对，它倒是挺可恨的。又好斗又凶恶。曲曲弯弯的脚尽瞎扑腾。冠子有我巴掌那么大，通红通红的。它就坐在木盆上看着我。我敢发誓，它在微笑。本来我满脑子想的都是刚才看见的黑尔。我根本就没想起来那个马嚼子。只有黑尔，还有在他之前的西克索，可是当我看见‘先生’的时候，我知道了，那里面也有我。不光是他们，也有我。一个疯了，一个卖了，一个失踪了，一个烧死了，还有我，舌头舔着铁嚼子，两手反绑在背后。也有我，最后一个‘甜蜜之家’的男人。
“‘先生’，它看起来那样……自由。比我强。比我更壮实，更厉害。那个狗崽子，当初自己连壳儿都挣不开，可它仍然是个国王，而我……”保罗·D停住了，用左手扼住右手。他就那样久久地攥着，直到它和世界都平息下来，让他讲下去。
“‘先生’还可以是、一直是它自己。可我就不许是我自己。就算你拿它做了菜，你也是在炖一只叫‘先生’的公鸡。可是我再也不能是保罗·D了，活着死了都一样。‘学校老师’把我改变了。我成了另外一样东西，不如一只太阳地里坐在木盆上的小鸡崽。”
塞丝把手放在他的膝盖上摩挲着。