双语阅读：自恋的人是天生的吗

摘要：无论极端自恋者愿不愿意得到帮助，临床医生必须要有很好的技巧，才能发现他内心的伤害，进行疗愈，帮他们树立起健康的自我形象和互动关系模式。能够被治愈的极度自恋者只有一种----坏掉的那种。

How does someone become a narcissist, or are they born that way?

It depends, children, especially newborns, demand constant attention but that is a process of survival. Eventually, as they mature, they should learn that they are not the only ones on earth with valid needs. That is where patience, consideration, and other valuable social traits are developed.

自恋人格是怎样形成的呢?还是他们生来如此?

看情况，小孩，特别是初生婴儿通常都需要持续的注意力，但那是求生本能。当他们逐渐成熟，会逐渐意识到自己不是世上的唯一，这也正是耐心、为他人考虑和其他重要社会特征形成的时期。

In my personal opinion, I see two options a person can take. When there are parents who are extreme narcissists, they will tend to be inattentive to the emotional needs of their child. Those needs might get ignored, ridiculed, shamed, or attacked. In the end the child is hungry for love and attention. Having a love deficit may cause a child to do one of two things:

自恋的人是天生的吗

我个人认为，有两种可能性。当小孩的父母极为自恋时，他们可能无法意识到子女的情绪需求，这些需求可能被父母所忽略、嘲笑、羞辱、甚至是攻击。最终，孩子会极度渴望爱和注意力。这种缺乏爱的情况可能导致孩子的如下两种行为：

1) Become an actor in order to get the admiration and attention the child needs. The parents are not safe. They disdain showing neediness and pain. The parents live for appearances. The child is emotionally bleeding and trying to survive because of experiencing emotional neglect. As a result, the child cannot find safety in parents and thus starts to hide to survive.

1)为了得到孩子所该得的赞美和注意力，而成为一名演员。没有安全感的父母，蔑视将需求和痛苦表现出来，为了表象而活着。孩子的情绪因此受到了严重的伤害，他们试图在被忽略之后存活，他们无法在家长那里得到安全感，所以开始隐藏自己来求得生存。

The child experiments with playing false impersonations. They soon find that they can manipulate their parents and others by acting. With this foundation, they embark on the path of wearing all kinds of disguises and masks in order to get anything they want, especially from persons who have love-hunger and seek to please to get it. They become incredibly selfish, unfeeling, and expert manipulators.

他们通过虚拟的模仿来进行试验，很快发现他们能够通过演戏的方式来操纵父母和其他人。因此，他们开始戴上各种各样的伪装和面具，从而获取自己想要的，特别是从那些需求爱和寻找爱的人身上获取。他们变得极为自私、无情和会操纵别人。

2) Another way that extreme narcissists are created is by being brought up super-pampered. Being brought up without negative consequences for being selfish and hurtful creates a social monster. We call them brats, but this is “Brat-Supreme.” These individuals know little of respecting other’s personal boundaries. They believe they are gods… or God. Their Ego knows no bounds in grandiosity.

2)极度自恋的人也可能是由极度娇生惯养的父母所带大的。他们的成长过程中，从没有过由于自私或对别人造成伤害而带来的负面影响，因而成长为社交怪物。我们称呼他们为“小孩”，但他们实际上是超级小孩，完全不知道要尊重他人的个人界限，认为自己是上帝，其自我意识无边无界。

Do you think narcissism is something of a growing 21st century problem?

你认为在21世纪，自恋是否一个日渐突出的问题?

Yes, as a result of Baby Boomers/Hippie Generation wanting the best for their children, they have created children who feel entitled and who believe they deserve unreserved success without much difficulty.

是的，婴儿潮和嬉皮一代都希望子女拥有最好的东西，因此他们让孩子们感到自己有资格、而且相信自己会获得完全的成功----而且不用经历太大困难。

Can narcissism be “cured”?

自恋能否被“治愈”?

Maybe. It depends on the skills of the clinician. Most behavioral clinicians have difficulty knowing how to work with one. For an extreme narcissist to be “cured” he must want to heal and be willing to admit he is unhealthy.

可能，这取决于医生的技巧。大多数行为临床医生都不晓得如何治疗自恋者。极端自恋者想要被治愈，就必须要承认自己的病态，和想要健康的愿望。

For most extreme narcissists, that is simply asking too much. For an extreme narcissist to want to change there must be a gigantic and earth-shattering series of events in their lives to break them of their grandiosity, extreme selfishness, entitlement, and self-righteousness.

可是对大多数极端自恋者来说，这个要求太过分了。极端自恋者如果产生变化的愿望，那必须要经过一系列巨大的人生变革，破坏他们的自大、极端自私、权利和自以为是。

Should an extreme narcissist be willing to be helped, the clinician must be skilled enough to find the wounds of his inner soul, help heal them, and replace them with healthy self-images and patterns for relational dynamics. The only kind of extreme narcissist that can be cured is a broken one.

无论极端自恋者愿不愿意得到帮助，临床医生必须要有很好的技巧，才能发现他内心的伤害，进行疗愈，帮他们树立起健康的自我形象和互动关系模式。能够被治愈的极度自恋者只有一种----坏掉的那种。

　　自恋用英语怎么说

自恋这个词的对应翻译是“自说自话地”，下面我们来盘点一下以narcissi-为词根的单词。

narcissistic [,na:si'sistik] adj. 自我陶醉的;自恋的;自我崇拜的;孤芳自赏的

narcissist ['na:sisist] n. 自恋者，自我陶醉者

narcissism ['na:si,siz?m] n. 自恋，自我陶醉，孤芳自赏

　　例句：

1. Young Americans are in the lead again in becoming increasingly narcissistic, a recent study has revealed.

根据最近调查显示，美国的年轻人正在成为最为自恋的一群人。

2. Sister Hibiscus says things as if she is living in a romance novel. Many call her anarcissist, but she prefers the term "self- confidence."

从芙蓉姐姐说的事情看，她彷佛生活在浪漫小说里，许多人都称她为自我陶醉者，但她给自己定义为“自信”。

3. Freud first mentioned this concept in his paper "On Narcissism".

弗洛伊德在他的论文《论自恋》中首次提到了这个概念。

最后，我们再区分一下“自恋”与“自大”这两个涵义容易混淆的词，“自恋”更倾向于“欣赏自己，陶醉于自我”的意思，而“自大”更强调“自身权威对他人的压制，目中无人”，对应的英语词汇有arrogant, stuck-up, self-important, conceited等。