建立良好人际关系中不应该做的10件事

Want to build positive relationships? Then make sure not to commit the following 10 things that disrupt relationships:
想有良好人际关系？那就千万别和下面这10件破坏人缘的事沾上边儿：

Giving hurtful comments. Are you hurting others by your lack of tact? You might think that you’re being helpful, but your intentions might have hurt the other party instead. Put yourself in others’ shoes first. If it’s not a comment you appreciate hearing yourself, then perhaps it’s not something others will appreciate either.
出口伤人型。是否因不够圆滑而伤了人？你可能认为你是助人，但适得其反而伤害了对方。将心比心。若该言论难入自家耳，那反之亦然。

Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what People want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn’t getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.
不做听众瞎指挥型。保守来说就是：许多时候，人们只想有个倾吐对象。实际上，人对烦恼自有解决之道—过了辛苦，漫长的一天，他们只求一知己宣泄苦闷。我就有个朋友，在我想吐苦水的时候老是打岔，抒发己见。我们谈的了无生趣—最后我索性不再提起，因为此非我心属的喘息之地。要多想想友人之所需，调整自己去配合。

Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself. Putting someone off doesn’t make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that’s appreciated by everyone.
妄加评论型；自己飘飘然。没人愿被评头论足。如果你总是评论他人的言行举止，那正映衬了你自己。妄加评论并不能让别人进步；反而使其越发不安。谦虚之德总是受人推崇的。

Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people – it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.
无视批评型。你对批评是何态度？是高度戒备，视而不见？还是从容应对，吸取批评，力求进步？学会应对批评自己的人—这可能是你最重要的能力。

Telling people what to do. Most of us don’t like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.
发号指令型。颐指气使的人一般不受待见。学会调动别人，让其接受日常之事，这可比到处指挥更需要能力。

Being aloof; Not being responsive. I have experienced situations where acquaintances do not respond to correspondences, possibly because they do not see them as important. Subsequently I form a very bad impression of them, and deprioritize their requests when they seek my help later on.
漠不关心型；不负责任。曾经我的有些朋友就对我的需求置之不理，也许觉得不重要，但我难免心存芥蒂，日后对他们的困难也不会相助。

Thinking you know it all. The more I learn, the more I realize what I don’t know. There is a wealth of knowledge out there for us to learn. Thinking you know everything, rejecting new methods and vehemently insisting on your ways prevents you from connecting with others. Be open to trying new things.
自以为无所不知型。学的越多，越觉自己知识匮乏。尚有很多知识的宝藏等着我们发掘。自认无所不知者，拒绝新鲜事物，固守己见，这会切断你同外界的联系。对新事物，要多吸收。

Being a complainer. It’s okay to complain every once in a while, but doing it all too often puts off people. Complaining too much makes you an energy vortex – it becomes draining to be around you. People like to be around positive people, not energy vampires. If you are one, it’s not too late to change – start by focusing on positive things around you and work from there.
怨天怨地型。偶尔抱怨没事，但过头了就会惹人反感。怨天尤人让你的能量产生漩涡—开始榨干你周围的人。人都喜欢与积极向上的人为伍，盗人能量之人并不受欢迎。如果你是这种人，赶紧转变—多留心身边积极的事物，以此为起点。

Not following up on things you agreed on. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t follow up on things they agree on (be it appointments, favors, etc). I think it makes them unreliable and leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. These are the same people that I make a note not to work with in the future.
善变型。有的人总不能坚持自己承诺之事，这让我最嗤之以鼻（约定也好，帮助也罢）。这让我觉得此人不可信，也难有对其的好评出自我口。以后工作中也会避免与这些人打交道。

Not listening. Are you present in your conversations with others? Or is your mind on something else? When conversing with someone, learn to not only listen, but listen actively. Seek out the underlying message behind what someone is saying.
充耳不闻型。与人交谈时，是否专心倾听？还是人在心走？与人交谈，不光要听，还要用积极的态度去听。要知道对方到底想表达什么内容。