诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第8章Part 2

Occasionally a kneeling man chose gunshot in his head as the price, maybe, of taking a bit offoreskin with him to Jesus. Paul D did not know that then. He was looking at his palsied hands,smelling the guard, listening to his soft grunts so like the doves', as he stood before the mankneeling in mist on his right. Convinced he was next, Paul D retched — vomiting up nothing at all. An observing guard smashed his shoulder with the rifle and the engaged one decided to skip thenew man for the time being lest his pants and shoes got soiled by nigger puke.
"Hiiii"
It was the first sound, other than "Yes, sir" a blackman was allowed to speak each morning, andthe lead chain gave it everything he had. "Hiiii!" It was never clear to Paul D how he knew whento shout that mercy. They called him Hi Man and Paul D thought at first the guards told him whento give the signal that let the prisoners rise up off their knees and dance two-step to the music ofhand forged iron. Later he doubted it. He believed to this day that the "Hiiii!" at dawn and the"Hoooo!" when evening came were the responsibility Hi Man assumed because he alone knewwhat was enough, what was too much, when things were over, when the time had come.
They chain-danced over the fields, through the woods to a trail that ended in the astonishing beautyof feldspar, and there Paul D's hands disobeyed the furious rippling of his blood and paid attention. With a sledge hammer in his hands and Hi Man's lead, the men got through. They sang it out andbeat it up, garbling the words so they could not be understood; tricking the words so their syllablesyielded up other meanings. They sang the women they knew; the children they had been; theanimals they had tamed themselves or seen others tame. They sang of bosses and masters andmisses; of mules and dogs and the shamelessness of life. They sang lovingly of graveyards andsisters long gone. Of pork in the woods; meal in the pan; fish on the line; cane, rain and rockingchairs.
And they beat. The women for having known them and no more,no more; the children for having been them but never again. They killed a boss so often and socompletely they had to bring him back to life to pulp him one more time. Tasting hot mealcakeamong pine trees, they beat it away. Singing love songs to Mr. Death, they smashed his head. More than the rest, they killed the flirt whom folks called Life for leading them on. Making themthink the next sunrise would be worth it; that another stroke of time would do it at last. Only whenshe was dead would they be safe. The successful ones — the ones who had been there enoughyears to have maimed, mutilated, maybe even buried her — kept watch over the others who werestill in her cock-teasing hug, caring and looking forward, remembering and looking back. Theywere the ones whose eyes said, "Help me, 's bad"; or "Look out," meaning this might be the day Ibay or eat my own mess or run, and it was this last that had to be guarded against, for if onepitched and ran — all, all forty-six, would be yanked by the chain that bound them and no tellingwho or how many would be killed. A man could risk his own life, but not his brother's. So the eyessaid, "Steady now," and "Hang by me."Eighty-six days and done. Life was dead. Paul D beat her butt all day every day till there was not awhimper in her. Eighty-six days and his hands were still, waiting serenely each rat-rustling nightfor "Hiiii!" at dawn and the eager clench on the hammer's shaft. Life rolled over dead. Or so hethought.
It rained.

偶尔，一个跪着的男人也许会选择脑袋上挨枪子儿，作为带着一点包皮去见耶稣的代价。保罗·D当时还不知道那个。当看守站在他右边雾中跪着的那个男人面前时，他正在端详自己不住痉挛的手，一边闻着看守的气味，一边听着看守酷似鸽子的沉闷的咕哝声。保罗·D断定下一个是自己了，便干呕起来——实际上什么也没吐出来。一个眼尖的看守举起枪死命去捣他的肩膀，那个动手的看守决定暂时跳过这个新来的，以免裤子和鞋被黑鬼呕出的东西弄脏。
"嗨——!"
这是除了"是，先生"之外，其中一个黑人每天早晨允许发出的第一声呼喊，因为在锁链上领头，他才有了这一切权力。"嗨——!"保罗·D始终搞不明白，他怎么知道什么时候喊出那一声悲悯。他们叫他"嗨师傅"。保罗·D起先以为是看守告诉他什么时候发出信号，让犯人们爬起来跟着手工镣铐的音乐跳两步舞的。后来他才纳闷起来。他至今依然相信，黎明的"嗨——!"和傍晚的"呼——!"是"嗨师傅"主动承担的责任，因为只有他一个人知道多少是足够，多少是过分，何时事情了结，何时时机已到。
他们带着锁链一路舞过田野，穿过树林，来到一条小径上；小径尽头是一座美得惊人的长石矿，在那里，保罗·D的双手抵住了血液中愤怒的涟漪，将注意力集中起来。在"嗨师傅"的带领下，男人们手抡长柄大铁锤，苦熬过来。他们唱出心中块垒，再砸碎它；篡改歌词，好不让别人听懂；玩文字游戏，好让音节生出别的意思。他们唱着与他们相识的女人；唱着他们曾经是过的孩子；唱着他们自己驯养或者看见别人驯养的动物。他们唱着工头、主人和小姐；唱着骡子、狗和生活的无耻。他们深情地唱着坟墓和去了很久的姐妹。唱林中的猪肉；唱锅里的饭菜；唱钓丝上的鱼儿；唱甘蔗、雨水和摇椅。
他们砸着。砸着他们从前曾经认识、现在却不再拥有的女人；砸着他们从前曾经是过、却永不会再是的孩子。他们如此频繁、如此彻底地砸死一个工头，结果不得不让他活过来，好再一次把他砸成肉酱。他们在松林中间品尝热蛋糕，又将它砸跑。他们一边为死亡先生唱着情歌，一边砸碎他的脑袋。更有甚者，他们砸死了那个人们称之为生命的骚货，就是她引领着他们前进，让他们觉得太阳再次升起是值得的；钟声的再一次鸣响终将了结一切。只有让她死去他们才会安全。成功者们——那些在里面待足了年头，已将她残害、切断手足，甚至埋葬了的人——一直留心着其余那些仍然处在她淫荡怀抱里的人，那些牵挂和瞻望着、牢记和回顾着的人们。就是这些人，依然用眼睛说着"救救我，糟透了"，说着"小心啊"，意思是：很可能就是今天，我得吠叫、疯掉，或者逃跑了，而最后这一点是必须提高警惕、严加防范的，因为如果有一个逃掉了——那么，所有、所有四十六个人，就会被拴住他们的锁链拖走，说不准会有谁、会有多少个要被杀掉。一个人可以拿自己的性命冒险，却不能拿兄弟们的冒险。于是，他们用眼睛说，"现在别急"，说，"有我在呢"。八十六天，干完了。生命死了。保罗·D整天砸她的屁股，直到她咽了气为止。八十六天过去，他的手不抖了，在耗子猖獗的每一个夜晚，他平静地等待着黎明的一声"嗨——!"，热切地渴望去握紧大锤把儿。生命翻过身去死掉了。至少他是这么想的。
下雨了。