美语情景对话 第1118期:Love and Relationships in France 法国的恋爱关系

Todd: Hello, Marianne. I thought we would talk about love and relationships today.

托德：你好，玛丽安。我们来谈谈现在的爱情和恋爱关系。

Marianne: Okay.

玛丽安：好。

Todd: If you don't mind.

托德：如果你不介意的话。

Marianne: That's fine.

玛丽安：我不介意。

Todd: And we would ask you about marriage in your country of France. And is it changing? Like are fewer People getting married? Are they getting married younger or later? Like how is marriage changing in France?

托德：请你说说你的祖国法国的婚姻。婚姻情况有改变吗？结婚的人是越来越少吗？人们结婚的年龄是呈年轻化还是会推迟结婚？法国的婚姻情况有什么变化？

Marianne: Well, marriage, it's kind of like very, like it's a traditional idea. Actually, it's a very conservative idea or very – it became like a conservative concept. So actually nowadays, I would say that French people do not really care about getting married. They care more about like having a stable relationship or having a real love relationship. Because I would say like for example, for my grandfather and grandmother's generation, marriage was very, like, it was very important for the stability of the family and for the stability of – even for yourself. Like even for when you were a woman at this time, you have to rely on a husband to live because women were not independent. They couldn't work or they had difficult access to work. So marriage was very important to have this possible life and having someone who can support you. But nowadays, because things are changing between men and women, they tend to be equal, so they tend to have the same rights. So marriage became less important to get some stability in your life. But the most important nowadays is to find someone that you can really rely on and someone that you really love to have a family. So people get married like when they are older. So they really enjoy like being young and enjoy, like, having different partners for example and then decide who is the best one, best partner. And then when they are older, when they are sure, they can get married and have a family. But it's not the first priority. People are more independent; women and men nowadays in France. So marriage is like kind of just like people put back – put the marriage back, it's not the first priority. The main priority is really about love, about finding happiness in your life if you find someone you love.

玛丽安：嗯，婚姻是传统的想法。这是一种非常保守的想法，婚姻已经成为保守概念。现在，法国人并不在乎结婚与否。他们更在乎有一段稳定的恋爱关系或有一段真正的恋情。举个例子，对我祖父母那代人来说，婚姻对家庭的稳定和自身的稳定来说非常重要。当时，女性要依靠丈夫生活，因为女性并不是独立的。她们不能工作，或者说她们很难找到工作。所以，婚姻非常重要，因为你要找到支持你生活的人。可是现在，因为男性和女性的情况已经发生变化，男女更平等，享有同样的权利。所以婚姻对于维持生活稳定来说不再重要。现在最重要的是找到你真正想依靠、想组成家庭的人。所以，人们结婚的年龄越来越晚。他们在年轻时享受时光，和不同的伴侣交往，然后决定最佳伴侣人选。在他们年龄越来越大时，当他们确定时他们就会结婚，组成家庭。但是婚姻不再是首要任务。人们越来越独立，现在法国男女非常独立。所以他们会推迟结婚，结婚不再那么重要。更重要的是爱情，找到你爱的人，找到幸福的生活。

Todd: Okay. Well, I think in the States it's very similar. But how do they feel about children? And also, how do they feel about, let's say, being with someone for their entire life? Like you find your soul-mate and then that's it.

托德：好。我认为美国的情况和法国类似。法国人对生孩子有什么看法？他们对和伴侣共度一生有什么看法？比如找到灵魂伴侣之类的。

Marianne: Well, it's a very romantic idea. So I think it's – it doesn't have to do with marriage. Like it depends on your personality I would say because if you believe in this idea of the perfect soul-mate and someone you can live with forever, it's more like romantic. So I would say, nowadays, like still French people believe in everlasting or never-ending love. But it's not necessarily through marriage that you accomplish this.

玛丽安：嗯，这是一个非常浪漫的想法。我认为不一定非要结婚。这取决于你的性格，如果你相信完美灵魂伴侣，你可以和一个人共度一生，那非常浪漫。现在，法国人依然相信永恒的爱。但是，那并不一定通过结婚来实现。

Todd: Okay. And what about children?

托德：好。那孩子呢？

Marianne: What do you – so what's your question about children?

玛丽安：就孩子来说，你想问什么？

Todd: So you were saying that marriage isn't as important to people. Are they willing to have children out of wedlock? Or like do people feel like you have to be married to have children or they just...?

托德：你说婚姻对人们来说不再重要。那他们愿意未婚生子吗？人们是认为一定要结婚以后再生孩子还是他们可以……？

Marianne: No, no. No, no. You have to love each other. You really have to love each other to have children. Like it doesn't matter so much if you are married or not, it's just a question of paper usually. For example, if the child should have the name of the father or the mother when you are not married, it could be this kind of issue. But like people can have children and then get married. Like for example, my friends – I have many friends around me who are just getting married now but they have already children like two or three children. So it's not, yeah, the question of having children or getting married before – we don't need – the order does not really matter nowadays. You have to marry the other if the other is really your ideal partner. But it does not matter if you have children before or after.

玛丽安：不是，不是的。首先一定要相爱。一定要相爱才能要孩子。这与是否结婚没有太大关系，婚姻不过是一张纸。举个例子，如果没有结婚，那孩子出生以后可能面临是随父姓还是随母姓的问题。但是也可以有孩子以后再结婚。我身边有很多朋友正在准备结婚，而他们已经有两三个孩子了。现在，要孩子和结婚的顺序不再那么重要。如果对方是你理想的伴侣，那你就和对方结婚。结婚前生孩子还是结婚后再生孩子不太重要。

Todd: That makes a lot of sense. I think it's the same in a lot of countries these days.

托德：这很有道理。我想现在有很多国家都是这种情况。

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重点讲解：
1. get married 结婚；
例句：The last time I met her, she said she was going to get married.
上次我遇到她时她说要结婚了。
2. care about 关心；在乎；在意；
例句：Friends genuinely care about each other.
只有朋友才真正地互相关心。
3. rely on 依赖；依靠；
例句：They relied heavily on the advice of their professional advisers.
他们非常依赖职业咨询师提供的建议。
4. put back 拖延；推迟；
例句：There are always new projects which seem to put the reunion back further.
总是有新的项目使重聚一推再推。