测一测你的老板是最佳雇主吗?
We've done our best to identify corporations that are a pleasure to work for. But we couldn't possibly list them all. Maybe your company, too, is a party on a half shell! Take this quiz and find out.
我们已经竭尽全力找出能让员工乐不思蜀的公司，但我们不可能把它们一网打尽。或许你所在的公司就是一个快乐之所！到底是不是，做做下面这个小测试就能找出答案。
When I go to work in the morning, I ...
早晨去上班时，我会……
A. Smile a little secret smile to myself.
A. 自顾自地偷笑。
B. Do a crossword puzzle on the train.
B. 在车上玩填字游戏。
C. Have a sphincter the size of a pinhead.
C. 心情郁闷。
The clothing I am expected to wear to work ...
我上班时间穿着的工作服……
A. Is a badge of honor. I wear it to sleep.
A. 是我的荣誉勋章，我睡觉都不愿意脱下来。
B. Is a uniform. All institutions have them. Get over it.
B. 只是制服而已。每家公司都有。将就穿吧。
C. Makes me feel like a trained monkey.
C. 让我觉得自己像只马戏团的猴子。
My boss ...
我的老板……
A. Is a titan of Excellence. God bless her.
A. 是个无比优秀的伟大人物。愿上帝保佑她。
B. Is a smart guy and can hold a drink.
B. 脑子很好使，酒量也不错。
C. Would club a baby harp seal.
C.甚至会用大棒子痛殴竖琴海豹宝宝。
Which would you rather have: free beverages or a pension?
你愿意要免费饮料还是补贴？
A. Did you know that we get an entire kitchen full of free food and drinks? I don't even leave the building for lunch! I just work straight through! What a perk!
A. 知道吗，我们公司的厨房里全都是免费的食物和饮料。我连吃午餐都不用离开公司！我可以一直工作到下班！公司福利真是太好了！
B. I miss my old pension plan, which was taken away in 2006, but I understand why the company did it.
B. 我怀念以前的补贴计划。它在2006年被取消了。但我理解公司的苦衷。
C. I can buy my own Gatorade, thanks.
C. 我自己买得起饮料，谢谢。
My understanding of the overall strategic goals of the corporation ...
我对公司总体战略目标的了解…
A. Is fleshed out for me at regular meetings with my boss, who is fully briefed by his boss, and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby.
A. 来自于我的上司在例会上向我所作的详细介绍，他的上司则向他作了完整的介绍，以此类推。
B. It's above my pay grade.
B. 这个问题超越了我的薪金等级范围。
C. Beyond making money, you mean?
C. 你是指除了赚钱以外还有什么吗？
The length of my average workday ...
日常工作的时长……
A. Is basically whatever I think it should be, as long as I get the job done. Some days I even work from home. In my bathrobe!
A.基本上由我自己决定，只要我把活儿干完就行。有时我甚至穿着睡袍在家工作！
B. Nine and a half hours. In at 8:30. Out at 6. For the past 15 years.
B. 9个半小时。早上8点半上班，下午6点下班，过去15年来一贯如此。
C. Expands to fill all available space, blocking out the sun, until I exist in a formless, shapeless void filled with nothing but that which must be done.
C.挤占了全部空闲时间。起早贪黑，直到精疲力竭、头晕脑胀，整天只想着必须要完成的工作。
Do you feel secure about your employment status?
你是否担心饭碗不保？
A. I don't really think about it too much. I know that if anything bad were to happen, the corporation would take care of me.
A. 我不怎么考虑这个问题。我知道，如果形势不妙，公司会照顾我的。
B. Sure. Now and then. But in a way, getting fired would be a form of liberation I wouldn't mind exploring.
B. 当然，有时会这么想。但从另一方面看，被炒鱿鱼相当于获得了自由！我不介意探索外面的世界。
C. Night and day. My entire persona is bound up with this screwy job. I don't even know who I am without it.
C. 一天到晚都在担心。我的整个人生都和这份该死的工作绑在了一起。要是没有这份工作，我甚至不知道自己是谁。
My combination of benefits and perks ...
我的福利津贴……
A. Is obscene!
A. 肥得流油！
B. Is standard for somebody at my position in a company of this size.
B. 处于同等规模公司、同等职位的正常水平。
C. No
C. 别提了。Scoring: For each (a) answer, give your corporation one point. You are obviously an executive of some kind, and your answers have absolutely no bearing on the quality of life for average people in your corporation. For each (b) answer, give your corporation two points. The Organization has you trained. Whatever it's doing, you are contributing to it. Finally, for every time you chose (c）, give your company five points. Your life has been ground down to a nub, but you still identify with the entity that is your bane and your beacon. The enterprise must succeed with crazy people like you indentured to it. Keep up the good work.
得分：每次选择答案A，雇主得一分。显然你属于管理层，你的答案肯定与公司普通员工的生活质量没有关系。每次选择答案B，雇主得两分。公司对你进行了培训。无论公司从事的是什么行业，你都是一员干将。最后，每次选择答案C，雇主得五分。你的生活很不如意，但你在把公司当成祸根的同时，仍然把它看作自己的灯塔。拥有像你这样疯狂的员工，你的公司肯定能获得成功。继续努力。
