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短篇英语故事阅读

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短篇英语故事阅读
  短篇英语故事:Red meat, Gray Water

See that bright red hamburger meat in the grocery store? It’s bright red because a Food processor added carbon monoxide to the package. Most European governments do not allow carbon monoxide in packages that contain beef products. They warn that the gas keeps the beef looking bright red even if the beef has started to decay. This bright red color is attractive, but it’s a cheap trick that allows the processor to sell possibly spoiled beef.

In the US, however, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and the Department of Agriculture say not to worry, the gas is completely safe.

“They might change their mind,” said activist Maureen Downey, “when a lot of People get sick, and it’s all over TV and radio news. These two agencies bend over backward for food companies. Guess what? Processors now want to use gray water in canned soups. Look out, America—your favorite chicken soup will soon be 50 percent gray water.”

Conan Nolan, head of FDA, said, “Ms. Downey has a vivid imagination. Our primary concern is the health and safety of American consumers. Gray water is simply 'used' household water. It does not include toilet water. We would never allow 50 percent gray water in canned soups—that amount might make people sick. The amount we allow will probably not exceed two or three percent. People have to realize that water is getting more valuable every decade, as the world’s population increases and the amount of fresh water decreases. Just as people’s digestive systems get used to contaminated water in developing countries, Americans will get used to gray water in their canned soups and other products. Look, no processed food is 100 percent sterile. Consider how much rat feces we allow in processed food today. I’ve yet to hear of one American dying from eating too much rat feces, so a little gray water shouldn't be a problem either.”

  短篇英语故事:JFK Assassinate

Every November 22, people worldwide remember and ponder the assassination in 1963 of President John F. Kennedy. He was sitting in the back seat of a convertible (the top was down) when bullets fired from a rifle tore into him and a fellow passenger.

The assassination was caught on 8mm film by Abraham Zapruder. Digital enhancement of that famous film shows part of Kennedy’s skull getting blown off. JFK was barely alive as the convertible sped to the nearest hospital; he died shortly after arriving there. The damage to his brain was so great that even today’s medical techniques couldn’t have saved JFK.

Conspiracy theories have persisted since the time of the assassination: the Mafia did it, the Teamsters did it, the CIA/FBI/Secret Service did it, Congress did it, the Federal Reserve did it, LBJ (the vice president) did it, the Communists did it, the Cubans who hated Castro did it, and the two guys behind the grassy knoll did it.

Conspiracy theorists do not believe that a lone gunman did it. The lone gunman was Lee Harvey Oswald. Oswald didn’t get to say much in his defense except, “I’m a patsy,” implying that he knew who really did it. Two days after Oswald shot Kennedy, Jack Ruby put a fatal bullet into Oswald.

The Warren Commission conducted the federal government’s official investigation of JFK’s assassination. Its 27-volume report said that Oswald, an ex-Marine, acted alone in shooting JFK from a sixth floor window of a book storage building. But to this day, and probably far into the future, many people dispute this “lone gunman” theory. They believe JFK’s death was a result of a conspiracy by one or more groups of people who felt threatened or deserted by JFK. The fact that Oswald was murdered while accompanied by a dozen Dallas policemen only strengthens the suspicions of the conspiracy theorists. The Warren report, they say, is merely a government whitewash of the “true” facts.

  短篇英语故事:Santa Claus

At a popular mall in Dothan, Alabama, Santa Claus asked a 33-year-old woman, sitting on his lap, what she wanted for Christmas. She said she wanted him! “I couldn’t believe it,” said Paul Moyer, 65 years old. “I figured that I misheard her, so I asked her again. She didn’t say ‘Yule’; she said ‘You’—meaning me!”

And then she started groping Santa. She put both hands on his cheeks and gave him a big kiss on his lips. She pulled off his cap and stroked his white hair—or what was left of it. Then she unbuckled his big black belt and stuck her hand down his pants. Santa was no match for this young woman, who was stronger, faster, and hornier than he was. He started yelling for help.

By the time a security guard arrived, the woman had unbuttoned Santa’s jacket and was rubbing her chest against his. She was wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a T-shirt, with no bra. The guard asked her to leave Santa alone, but she ignored him. He had to pull her off Santa. Both Santa and the woman were out of breath.

The police eventually arrived. They handcuffed the woman and put her in a squad car. They said she would be charged with sexual assault and battery. “That poor guy didn’t know what hit him,” said one officer. Santa took a 10-minute break to recover and to put his Santa suit back together.

When Santa returned to his chair by the Christmas tree, he apologized to the kids who had witnessed the attack. They did not seem to be bothered by the excitement, except for the fact that they had to wait in line a little longer to visit with Santa. Two 13-year-old boys, however, enjoyed the “show.” They both said they couldn’t wait until they were old enough to work as Santa in a mall. “She was hot!” said one of the boys.


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