8招教你搞好和老板之间的关系

1. How do other people find him? Does everyone have a hard time with John or is it just you? Check out how other people get on with him by asking subtle questions – do not rant about how awful he is and see if others agree. If everyone has a problem with him then you have some common ground on which to work. If only you have difficulties with him then you need to examine yourself and your relationship with him.
1. 其他人感觉他怎么样？ 是不是每个人都和约翰难相处，还是只有你一个人？问问其他人一些微妙的问题，调查他们和约翰相处如何——不要在痛骂老板是多么的可恶后再看那些人的反映。如果其他人和他也有问题，那么你们有共同立场。如果只有你和他相处困难，那你需要好好反省自己以及你们的关系问题。

2. Ask yourself why. List all the reasons why you think things are not working between you. There are probably some big assumptions on your list so you will need to validate them carefully.
2. 问自己为什么。 列出你觉得你和老板相处困难的所有原因。其中可能有一些大的假设，那你就需要去仔细验证他们。

3. Have a heart to heart meeting. Schedule a time to meet John when he is not under pressure. Tell him that you want to discuss some important issues. At the meeting explain very calmly and rationally that you do not feel the relationship is working well and that you would like to explore why and how to improve it. Do not go into a long list of complaints and sores. Take a factual example if you can and start from there. Let him do most of the talking. Try to see the situation from his point of view and understand exactly what he sees as the issues. See how many of the problems you listed at point 2 above are real.
3. 心交心的会谈。在约翰没有压力的时候，安排时间和他当面交谈。告诉他你想和他讨论一些重要问题。会谈时，冷静地并理智地解释你所觉得的关系问题，并表明你想要探讨其中原因和改进措施。不要倒出一大堆抱怨和苦水。尽量举个实际的例子并从那个例子开始。让老板多发言。试图站在他的立场来看这个问题并正确地理解他会把哪些视为问题。看看上面你列出的那些问题有哪些是真实的。

4. Agree an action plan. If you can agree a plan for outcomes that you both want then it really helps. What is it that he wants you to achieve? If you deliver it will he be happy with your performance? Even if you disagree on all sorts of other things try to agree on what your key job objectives are. Ideally you should agree actions that each of you will take to improve the working relationship.
4. 协定行动计划。如果你们为达到共同效果协定一个计划，那这确实会有帮助。他希望你达到什么目标？如果你履行了，他会不会对你的表现满意？即使你对其他各种事情持有不同意见，但要设法对你的主要工作目标取得一致意见。理想情况下，你们应该在那些为改善工作关系每个人需要采取的行动措施上达成一致。

5. Try to understand his objectives and motivation. Even if John is lazy, dishonest and spiteful you can still find out what he is keen to achieve and work with him towards his goals. If you can find a way to help him with his objectives then maybe you can work around his faults. A good rule at work is to help your boss to succeed – whether you like him or not. Other people will see you do this and it works to your credit – especially if they know that your boss is difficult.
5. 试图理解他的目标和动机。 即使约翰懒惰，不诚实且凶恶，你还是可以找到他渴望实现的目标，并协助他朝着他的目标去努力。如果你能找到帮他实现目标的方法，也许你可以解决他的缺点。工作中一个有效法则就是去帮助你的老板成功——不管你是否喜欢他。其他人看到你做到了，这会增加你的声望——尤其当他们知道你的老板难对付的时候。

6. Go over his head. This is a risky option but sometimes it is necessary – especially if most other people share the same problems with John. Have a quiet word with your boss’s boss and say that you feel that the department is not achieving all that it could. Make some broad suggestions about how things could be improved without making direct accusations against John. Let the senior manager read between the lines; he or she probably knows already.
6. 越级反映。 这是个冒险的选择但有时很必要——特别是如果其他大多数人都和约翰有问题。私下和你老板的老板谈谈，告诉他你觉得你的部门现在未能尽其所能。就如何改进提一些广泛的意见，而不要直接控告约翰。让高级经理自己体会言外之意；他或她可能已经知道了。

7. Move sideways in the organization. If you cannot move up then move across for a while. Get some experience in another department. Eventually John will move on, be fired or quit. If you are seen as a positive contributor then you may get your chance to do John’s job better than he did.
7. 组织内转岗。如果你不能向上提升，那就横向发展一段时间。获取其他部门相关工作经验。总有一天约翰将会离开，被解雇或辞职。如果你被视为一个积极的贡献者，那么你可能有机会做约翰的工作并做得比他好。

8. Quit. Life is too short to spend it in a job that makes you miserable. If you have tried all of the routes above and are still blocked and frustrated then find a job elsewhere. There are plenty of good bosses who want enthusiastic and diligent people to work for them.
8. 辞职。生命太短暂，不要将其耗费在一个使你痛苦的工作上。如果你已经尝试了上面所有的途径但仍然受阻和挫败，那就到别处找份工作吧。大多数好老板还是想要充满激情的和勤奋的员工为他们工作的。

Sooner or later most of us will get a difficult boss to deal with. Do not become sullen or aggressive. The trick is to figure out a way to get on with the boss in a manner that helps both of you. It can nearly always be done.
我们大多数人迟早会遇到一个难以对付的老板。不要变得沮丧或反应过激。关键是要找到能改善和老板的关系且对双方都有利的方式。这差不多总是可以做到的。