我的女儿已长大成人,她不交租金住在我家,也不想工作
I have two sons and a daughter, and the latter has always been the baby of the family. My sons left school at 18 and got jobs, worked hard, saved up and got their own flats with their girlfriends. My daughter, however, is 25 and has never worked.
我有两个儿子、一个女儿，后者一直是家里的宠儿。两个儿子18岁时毕业、之后努力工作、存钱、和女朋友住在自己的公寓里。然而我的女儿已经25岁了，但她却从没上过班。After school she went to university and then after that she went travelling with friends. She came home and worked in a coffee shop for a while before going off travelling again. She then decided she wanted to train to become a beauty therapist so my husband and I paid for all the equipment she needed and for her training.
高中毕业后，她上了大学，大学毕业后，她和朋友四处旅行。然后她回来了、在咖啡馆工作了一段时间，又出去旅行了。之后，她决定训练成为一名美容治疗师，所以我和丈夫给她买了她需要的设备，并花钱供她培训。She's a couple of months away from finishing her course and now she's decided she doesn't want to be a beauty therapist after all. My husband is furious with her, and with me, because he thinks she's spoilt and just needs to knuckle down and get a job like everybody else.
还有几个月她就学成了，但她却决定不想成为美容治疗师了。我的丈夫十分生气（既生女儿的气也生我的气），因为他觉得女儿被宠坏了，需要认真工作，像所有人一样。
She lives at home rent free and we pay for everything. If I ask her what she plans to do with her life she gets upset and then I feel bad. But she's 26 this summer and she's never had a proper job. What advice do you have?
她住在家里，也不交租金，一切都是我们为她买单。如果我问她打算将来怎么办，她就会变得沮丧，让我感到内疚。但今年夏天她就26岁了，还没有过正经工作。您有什么建议呢？
Coleen says
科琳说I can understand your husband is peeved, but isn't he at least partly responsible for spoiling her? Firstly, where did she get the money from to go travelling? Either you and your husband must have been paying or she was using her coffee-shop money and you were topping it up.
我可以理解你的丈夫十分气恼，但女儿被宠坏了，他也得负一部分责任吧？首先，她旅游的钱打哪儿来的？要么是你，要么就是你丈夫给的，或者是她从咖啡馆挣来的钱，然后你们还额外给她钱。If she still wants to go travelling, fine, but she ought to get a job, save up and pay for it herself like other 25-year-olds.
如果她还是想出去旅游，那么没问题，但她应该找个工作、省钱、自己出钱旅行，这才是25岁的人该做的事。You need to stop feeling bad about asking her what she plans to do with her life because you have every right to do so if you're letting her live rent free in your home at her age. It's not like she's 18 and a few months out of school.
询问她关于未来生活的计划时不要感到内疚，因为如果你让她在这个岁数不交钱就住在你家，那你就有权利这样做。毕竟她又不是18岁，即将毕业的小姑娘。The situation isn't fair on her brothers either, who you may find resent her - and you - a little for allowing this situation to continue. They've had to work hard and pay their own way through life, so why shouldn't their sister?
这对她的哥哥们也不公平，他们可能会有点憎恨她--也恨你--如果这种情况继续下去的话。他们必须努力工作、为自己买单，但为什么妹妹就不用呢？
