时尚双语:Friendship:“第一个人”或许就是友谊的缘分
I vividly remember my first day at University when I was 18-years-old: not just the terror and the excitement but also the sheer, crushing weight of people I didn't know, and who didn't know me.
Of course everyone was in the same boat and it wasn't long before I had made new friends. When I think back, one of my firmest friends was a guy I met at the introductory session of my course on the very first day.
I wonder if there is something special about the very first people we meet in new social surroundings? Perhaps we are so relieved to find someone to talk to - an island of acceptance in a sea of strangers - that we are more likely to form a lasting bond.
Or perhaps I'm making too much of it; after all, at a new job, club or society we'll probably get to meet everyone eventually. Surely the person we just happen to meet first shouldn't be more likely to become a firm friend in the long run?
It's this question that Dr. Mitja Back and colleagues from the University of Leipzig investigated in a new study to be published in Psychological Science (Back, Schmukle & Egloff, 2008). To find out they subjected brand new psychology students to a nerve-wracking first day.
At their introductory session each student was told to sit in a random seat. Then each trembling newbie had to come up to the front and briefly introduce themselves. Immediately afterwards everyone else rated that person on two scales: how much they liked them and whether they would like to get to know them more (sounds frightening for your first day!).
The results showed that people liked - and wanted to be friends with - the people who were initially sat next to them. This might not be that surprising: people have had slightly more exposure to those who they were sitting next to. Or people might have felt a certain affinity for those they were sat near...
One year later
Fast-forward one year. The students are well settled into the course, have probably mixed extensively and now know each other much better. Surely that day one year ago when the lecturer tortured them with random seat allocations, public introductions and instant judgements can't still have an effect, can it?
It absolutely did. Even after one year students who sat on the same row as each other on that very first day liked each other better than people who sat nowhere near each other. For those who sat right next to each other the level of liking was even higher.
This study suggests that in a new social situation it really does matter who you happen to meet first. So, when meeting a new bunch of people, be careful who you approach first, or who you are approached by: you could be stuck with them for a long time!
我清楚的记得我18岁大学入学的第一天：不只是兴奋，恐惧，而且还有那些我一点儿也不了解的人和一点也不了解我的他们。
当然，大家都彼此彼此，而且我没有费多少时间就交到了新朋友。当我回想起这些的时候，我发现我其中的一个铁哥们正是入学第一天我在个人介绍会上认识的第一个人。
所以我在想你和那个你第一个认识的家伙之间是不是真的有什么奇妙的缘分？或许我们对于陌生人太不设防了，我们非常容易的就接收了一个陌生人的搭讪，或者我们更乐于去跟他们构筑长期关系。
再或者，我是不是想的太多了。毕竟，在一个新的工作环境，新俱乐部或者社会里我们终究是要去接触很多人的。谁都不能确定我们第一次见到的人会不会在以后变成自己的损友。
令人伤脑筋的第一日
来自德国莱比锡大学的Mitja Back博士和他的同事在心理学杂志上发表了一篇新的学术报告用来研究那些个有着糟糕的第一天入学经历的新生的心态。
在新生入学仪式上，新生们被告知可以随便坐在哪里都行。然后每个人都要颤巍巍的走到最前面去做自我介绍。在这之后在座的每个人要立刻从两方面评价这个人：他们有多喜欢他，他们是否有兴趣去了解他更多(听起来是多么恐怖的第一天啊....)
结果显示：新生们更乐于或是想跟当时做在自己旁边的那个人成为朋友。理由很简单就是人们觉得自己对做在自己隔壁的那个人可能更能够敞开心扉或者觉得对这个人跟你有共鸣所以才坐到了一起.....
一年以后
一年很快过去了。学生们都已经很好的融进了课堂学习并且更深入的了解了彼此。那么一年前的那个有点类似于折磨人的自选座位，自我介绍和即时评判他人的做法还会像一年前那样得出相同的结果吗？
当然会了。即使过去了一年，在第一天做同一排的学生之间的关系比起做在其他地方的学生关系要来的亲密，而那些相邻而坐的学生之间的关系则更加深刻。
这个研究表明：在一个新的社会环境中，一定要用心挑选那个你第一个想要去接触的人。所以，一定要小心那个你想要靠近的家伙，或者要小心想要靠近你的那个家伙。因为你们之间可能会在将来发生一段孽缘(笑)。
