离婚后,如果度过第一个节假日

The first set of holidays after your divorce aren't easy. But that definitely doesn't mean you won't ever have a good holiday again.

离婚后的第一个节假日并不好过。但这绝不是说你永远都不能拥有开开心心的假期了。

As someone who has been there and done that having long been separated from my ex, I can say that it does get easier, but it still isn't easy. In order to have a beautiful holiday without your kids or when splitting the kids up, you need to create new traditions and enlist solid coping skills. If you do this, your life after divorce will be wonderful. It won't always be pleasant, but it will be worth it.

我也有这样的经历，长期与前任分居，因此我完全有权说事情会变得更容易些，但也没有那么容易。为了开开心心的度过没有孩子或将孩子分开的假期，你需要创立新的传统，并争取强硬的应对技巧。如果你做到这一点，那离婚后的生活简直不要太精彩哦。事情并不总是顺心如意，但一切都是值得的。

Now Is Not the Time to Be Stubborn

现在不是顽固的时候

If your kids are not with you and you will be alone, now is not the time to be stubborn and hide away. Of course, if you want some time alone to cry on the holidays, that's OK and to be expected. It's extremely hard missing your kids. That said, don't spend the whole holiday alone. Try to create a new tradition - something you can do whenever you don't have the kids at the holidays. Maybe you and a friend go see the tree in your city. Maybe you and a group of moms get together to go holiday shopping. Or perhaps you even offer to cook some dishes in exchange for a seat at the holiday table, whether it's with friends or family.

如果你的孩子不在身边，你孤身一人，那现在可不是顽固的时候、也不是逃避的时候。当然，如果你想在节假日一个人默默痛哭，那就没有关系了，期待节假日的到来吧！思念自己的孩子十分痛苦。所以，不要一个人度过节假日。试着创造新的传统吧——节假日没有孩子你也可以做的事。也许你可以和朋友一起去城里看树。也许你可以和一帮辣妈出去购物。亦或者你可以烧些菜带去朋友或家人的家中，和他们一起过节。

You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to cry. Just don't isolate yourself, please. The temptation to do so will be high, trust me. I've been there before, and it can be really destructive to your soul. Don't do it.

你可以悲伤、可以哭泣，但请别孤立自己。相信我，诱惑很大的。我有过此番经历，这非常破坏我们的灵魂，千万别这样做！

Make Alternative Holiday Dates With the Kids

和孩子度过另类假期

OK, so you don't have the littles for Christmas or Thanksgiving, so does that mean the holidays can't happen? Nope! You make a day they are with you Mom's Christmas, Hanukkah, or what have you, and you create a celebration of your own. Although this is hard to adjust to, it doesn't have to be the actual calendar day to matter. Your child or children of divorce will look forward to having that "holiday, part deux" with you.

好了，你家小孩不和你一起度过圣诞节或感恩节，所以这就意味着不过节假日了？不是！你可以让他们和你度过妈妈圣诞节、光明节或任何节日，创造属于自己的庆祝方式。尽管这很难调节，但不一定是日历上的节假日才作数。你的孩子将期待和母亲度过第二个节假日。