丈夫说我一手造成了他和同事的婚外情

Dear Coleen

亲爱的科琳

My husband of 20 years has been having an affair with a woman from work. He blames me for this situation, saying I have been horrible to him for the past 18 months so he has sought solace elsewhere.

我结婚20年的丈夫和他的同事发生了婚外情。他竟然怪我，说我过去18个月来对他态度很差，所以他才从别处寻求慰藉。

He thinks this woman he has known for eight weeks will make him happy for the rest of his life and he wants to leave me and move in with her. I found her profile on Facebook and messaged her asking her to leave my husband alone. We met and she is the total cliché of a younger woman in an unhappy relationship, going after her married boss.

他认为和他相识8周的这个女人能让他余生幸福快乐，他想离开我，搬过去和那个女人住在一起。我在脸书上找到了她，给她发信息让她离开我的丈夫。我和她见面了，她是那种典型的自己恋情不幸、追求已婚老板的年轻姑娘。

We chatted for three hours and I explained to her he wasn't the lovely bloke she thought he was and there was another side to him. I also told her we had been intimate when he told her our marriage was dead. I showed her a photo of us cuddling on the sofa.

我们聊了3个小时，我向她解释他不是她所认为的那种男人，他也有另一面。我还告诉她，当丈夫对她说我们的婚姻没有希望的时候，我和丈夫还举止亲密呢。我给她看了一张我和丈夫在沙发上互相依偎的照片。

That evening my husband and I were making love, but got interrupted by this woman, texting him to say it was over and that she was leaving work too. My husband was furious and blamed me for ruining everything.

那天晚上和我丈夫行房事了，但却被这个女人给打乱了，她给他发短信说他们之间结束了，她要辞职。我的丈夫十分气恼，怪我毁掉了一切。

He has now moved into the spare room and swings between depression and anger. What can I do to repair this situation and remind him of our love for each other?

现在，他搬到了客房，又难过又愤怒。我可以做些什么来修复我们的关系，让他回忆起我们对彼此的爱呢？

He sent me a message today saying he just wants me to leave him alone as his blood pressure is sky high. I should add, he also had an affair with a younger co-worker 10 years ago, which lasted seven months before he came back to me again.

今天他给我发了条短信，说让我放他一马，因为他的血压飙升。再补充一句，十年前他也和一个年轻的同事出轨过，那段婚外情持续了7个月，然后他又回到了我的身边。

Coleen says

科琳说

I know you've tried everything in your power to save your marriage, but if the will isn't there from your husband, it'll never work. It needs two of you to rebuild and it doesn't sound as if he wants to.

我知道你尽可能的做了一切来挽救你们的婚姻，但如果你的丈夫根本就没有这个意愿，那么无论你怎么努力都不会成功。这需要你们俩重新建立关系，但听起来他似乎并没有这种想法。

This latest affair might be over, but what about the next one? He did the same thing to you 10 years ago and he's done it again.

最近的这段婚外情可能已经结束了，但下一段呢？十年前他可是对你做过一样的事啊，现在他又来了！