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我对朋友和家人说,我的婚姻彻底完了

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When I got married, one of my mum's friends pulled me aside at my wedding reception and put her hands on my shoulders. "Goodbye Becca Bycott," she said, looking deeply into my eyes, tears in hers. "Hello, Becca Ramspott." I felt one door closing and another opening, just listening to her words.

婚宴那天,母亲的一位朋友把我拉到一旁,把手放在我的肩上,"再见了,贝卡·白克特(Becca Bycott),"她深情地看着我的双眼,泪流满面的说道。"你好,贝卡·蕾姆斯鲍特(Becca Ramspott)。"听着她的话,我感觉一扇门关上了,而另一扇门开启了。

Little did I know that 11 years later, I would have to re-open those doors and walk through them again, after an unpleasant ending with my ex-husband. I wasn't sure how to carry myself across that threshold. By the time my marriage ended, I had built a solid career in communications under my married name. People knew me as "Becca Ramspott" from conferences I attended, presentations I gave, blogs I wrote. It seemed awkward, spelling out that I had gotten divorced by changing my name. But I also felt that leaving a failed marriage wasn't something to be ashamed of, no matter how hard it was to say it online. Was there a creative and positive way to go back to "Becca Bycott" and let people know about it?

但当时我并不知道,与前夫不欢而散后,11年后的我还会重新打开这些门,再次走过。我并不确定该如何走过这道门槛。婚姻结束之时,我的职业生涯十分稳固,大家熟知的都是我的夫姓。人们从我参加的会议、做过的演示、写过的博客中认识我,知道我是贝卡·蕾姆斯鲍特。改了名字后,大家都知道我离婚了,听起来有点尴尬吧。但不管在网上写这段经历有多困难,我都认为告别一段失败的婚姻并不是一件丢脸的事情。还有什么有创意的好方法能让我重新做回贝卡·白克特,并让大家都知道呢?

我对朋友和家人说,我的婚姻彻底完了

I decided reclaiming my maiden name would have to be a gradual and deliberate process. First, I wanted it to be legally changed, with a new social security card and everything, before I made it "Facebook official" that I was divorced. It had to be the real deal. Secondly, I didn't want my announcement on social media to be just about my name. I wanted it to be part of something bigger and more universal that people could relate to. Finally, my name change would be an assertive, creative statement, not something apologetic or sad.

我决定循序渐进的重新做回贝卡·白克特。首先,在脸书上宣布我已离婚之前,我要在法律上改变自己的名字,拥有新的社保卡和其它一切东西。必须动真格!其次,我希望在社交媒体上发布声明时,不仅仅只是提到改了名字。我希望这是一件更重要的事情,一件人们可以感同身受的更加普遍的事情。最后,改名字是自信、创意的体现,并不表示我很抱歉或伤心。

Comments started popping up from friends and family discovering the blog for the first time. They had a lot of supportive things to say about my name change and my writing. I was glad I put myself out there.

朋友和家人第一次看到我的博客后也给我留了言。他们说了很多鼓励的话,支持我改名字,也支持我的写作。我很高兴这么做了。