英语小笑话简单
笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。小编精心收集了简单英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
A Satisfied Gustomer
一位心满意足的客户
A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.
有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说:
"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "
“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”
"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."
“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说，“但没有必要使用那种字眼。”
"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.
“嘿，你他妈的能不能快一点吗?我在赶时间呢!”
"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "
“先生，我不习惯别人那样子对我说话。”
"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"
“我要开一个××的活期存款账户，而且要现在就办，懂了吗?”
"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.
“先生，我去找经理来。”气愤的年轻小姐说着。
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"
不久她带了经理回来，那位满头白发、看起来很庄严的老先生问道：“先生，到底有什么问题吗?
“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "
“我刚中彩券得了一千万美元，我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”
"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"
“我知道了，”经理说道，“而这个臭婊子在给您添麻烦，是吧?”
简单英语小笑话篇2Play Now Pay Later
先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜欢到世界各地探险，和许多妓女风流，
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.
但在香港，他终于遇到一名职业神女，这名神女留给他的不止是温柔的回忆而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他请教了一名英国医生。
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊!”医生叫道，
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have to amputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本医学教科书还要丰富，恐怕我们必须把你的东西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐惧，便找了一位美国专科医师帮忙，但那名专科医师表情凝重地摇头说：
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“对不起，小兄弟，如果我们不切除那活儿，病毒将会感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名风流公子走投无路，便向一位中医请教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
这位充满智慧的老先生仔细检查病人后煞有介事地点头说道：
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的问题。你和坏女人乱搞，她的性病很严重，你现在的病情也很严重。
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
“大夫，英国和美国的医生都说我的东西必须要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“这些西医所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大笔钱。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用动外科手术?!”年轻人喜出望外地问道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“别担心，”老中医师说：
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去，好好休息一阵，等二三个星期后，那活儿会自己掉下来。”
简单英语小笑话篇3Put Yourself in My Place
设身处地替人想一想
Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,
某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。
Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。
"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "
“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。”
Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.
老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。
"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"
“嘿!”老爸说道，“我的胡子粘住了!”
"Aggravatin', ain't it?"
“问题严重了，是不是呢?”
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