短篇英语笑话选集摘抄
笑话理解起来不用动脑筋,可以达到思维方式和精神上放松的目的;它蕴藏了蓄势待发的下一波主流文化,可发掘年轻人洞察力的细节。下面小编整理了短篇英语笑话选集，希望大家喜欢!
慷慨(中英)
An Italian walks into a bar with a bad knee and notices a guy sitting at the end of the bar. He walks to the bartender and asks who it is. The bartender tells him it is Jesus. The Italian orders a drink for himself and Jesus.
一个意大利人一瘸一拐地走进了一个酒吧，他注意到酒吧里的一个人，于是就走到酒吧服务员那里问那个人是谁。酒吧服务员告诉他那个人是耶稣。那个意大利人点了一杯酒，也给耶稣点了一杯。
Next, a mute walks in. He asks if that is Jesus. He then orders a drink for himself and for Jesus.
接着，一个哑巴走了进来。他过去问那个人是否是耶稣。然后他也为自己和耶稣各点了一杯酒。
Finally, a redneck walks in and orders a drink for himself and Jesus. A few minutes later, Jesus gets up and goes to the Italian. He thanks him for his generosity and heals him Jesus walks over to the mute, thanks him, and heals him Then, he walks over to the redneck. The redneck jumps up and shouts, "Don't heal me, I've no disability
最后，一个农民走进来也给自己和耶稣点了酒。过了几分钟，耶稣站了起来走到那个意大利人跟前。他感谢了那个意大利人的慷慨并且治愈了他的腿。耶稣又来到了那个哑巴跟前，谢了他之后也治愈了他的残疾。最后，他走到农民这里。那个农民跳了起来大喊道:“不要治我，我没有残疾!”
短篇英语笑话选集鉴赏司机与比尔•克林顿(中英)
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instant1y. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
一天晚上，比尔·克林顿和他的司机驱车行驶在乡村的公路上，意外的撞死了一头猪。克林顿让司机去向农场的主人解释所发生的一切。
About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and tom. "What happened to you，”asked Bill. "Well, the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me.” "My God, what did you tell them"，asked Clinton. The driver replied, "I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and 1 just killed the pig.”
大约一小时后，克林顿看见司机摇摇晃晃的回来了，一手拿着一瓶葡萄酒，另一只手拿着香烟，衣服破烂不堪。克林顿疑惑地问:“发生了什么事?”司机回答说:“没什么，农场主给我葡萄酒，他老婆给我香烟，他们19岁的女儿疯狂地爱上了我。”“哦，_L帝，你到底对他们说了些什么?”司机回答“我是比尔·克林顿的司机，而且刚刚撞死了那头猪。”
短篇英语笑话选集赏析赚钱(中英)
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
一个年轻人向一位老富翁请教如何赚钱。
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said，"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and，at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month，by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1 .37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars.”
这个老人指着自己那破旧的羊毛马甲说:“看，孩子，这是1932年的。在经济大萧条时期，我穷困到只剩一个硬币了。我用它买了一个苹果，并用一天的时间把这个苹果擦亮，到了晚上，我把这个苹果卖掉了，得到了10美分。第二天，我用这10美分买了两个苹果，又用了一天的时间把它们擦亮，晚上5点多的时候，我把苹果卖20美分。这样干了一个月之后，我幸运的积累到了1. 37美元。然后，我妻子的父亲去世了，留给了我们200万美元的遗产。”
