简短的简单的英语笑话
在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。本站小编整理了简短的简单的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
死亡讣告
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost tohave an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.
地方报社负责刊登死亡讣告的部门电话响了。“登一篇讣告多少钱?”一位女士问。
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after amoment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."
“五美元一个字，太太。”书记员礼貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小会儿，“拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。”
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
“好的，这样写：‘科恩去世了’”“就这些了?”书记员疑惑地问道。“对，就这些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我刚才没有告诉您，在我们这登讣告最少也得五个字。”
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac forSale.'"
“没错，你就应该告诉我，”女士有点生气了，“现在我得考虑一下，嗯…拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，这样写：‘科恩去世了，出售一辆卡迪拉克轿车。’”
简短的简单的英语笑话篇二没问题
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but Icouldn't stand the pain.
发型师问：“有什么可以帮你吗?”那个人解释说：“我本来要去做头发移植，但实在太疼了。
If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you$5,000."
如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。”
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
“没问题，”发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头。
简短的简单的英语笑话篇三谁都没空
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in theshed. She could see from the bedroom window.
那天晚上，我刚要上床睡觉，妻子告诉我说我没有关储藏室的灯，她从卧室的窗户看见那还亮着。
As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned thepolice, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would sendsomeone over as soon as they were available.
我也透过窗户朝那边看，发现有几个人正在偷东西。我赶忙报警，但是警察局说现在没有警察在我家的这片位置，他们一有了人手就马上派过来。
I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just calledyou a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry aboutthem now cause I've shot them all."
我说没问题，然后挂了电话，等了一分钟，又给他们打过去：“警察局吗，一分钟以前我打过电话来，我告诉你说有人正在我家的储藏室偷东西。但是现在没事了，因为我刚刚开枪把他们都打死了。”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit,the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thoughtyou said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
随后，五分钟之内有六辆警车来到了我家，警报也响了。当然，他们当场抓住了窃贼。有个警察对我说：“我记得你说你把他们都打死了。”我回答道：“我记得你说现在谁都没空。”
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