简短英语笑话带翻译大全

笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点;笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。本站小编整理了简短英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　　简短英语笑话带翻译：Talking clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into theden(私室，贼窝) . What is the big brass gong(锣) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?

Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!

会说话的钟

一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?他的一个朋友问他。那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟，学生回答。这钟怎么工作的，他的朋友问。看着，别眨眼了，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!

　　简短英语笑话带翻译：Your Coat Is on Fire

The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.

The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!

您的大衣着火了

老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。 第二天，当老师背靠着火炉讲课时，发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然，全班学生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老师，您的大衣着火了!”

　　简短英语笑话带翻译：Rope or Ox 到底是绳子还是公牛

The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home. But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home! I told you I had bad luck, didn't I? the man sighed, The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope.

绳子还是公牛? 在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。” “但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!” “我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气，“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

　　简短英语笑话带翻译：A Dying Man's Favorite Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in arumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The agedand withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smackedwith a spatula by his wife.

Stay out of those, she said, they're for the funeral.

临死者最爱吃的小甜饼

一位濒临死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受着死亡的煎熬。突然一股香味顺着楼下飘了上来，那正是他最喜欢的巧克力小薄饼的味道。他用尽吃奶的力气挣扎着从床上爬了起来，倚着墙，慢慢地走出了卧室，并且用最后的力量用双手抓住扶手走下了楼梯。老人靠在门框上，嘴里喘着气，眼睛凝神着厨房。

如果不是因为承受着临死的痛苦，老人会认为自己到了天堂。那里，在厨房铺着报纸的桌子上，确切地说有数百个他最喜欢吃的巧克力小薄饼。真在天堂吗?还是他那离婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的爱心显示，以便让他开心地离开这个世界?

集中最后的力量，老人跪着双膝挣扎着移向桌子。他口干舌燥，嘴巴张开。他感受到了美妙的甜饼味道，仿佛要将他带回人世。他的一只年迈干瘪的手颤颤悠悠地伸向桌子边缘的一只小甜饼。突然，他妻子扔过一把铲子，砸在他的手上。

“离远点”，他妻子说。“这是为你的葬礼准备的。”

　　简短英语笑话带翻译：Guns Buried in the Garden

An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.

He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!

At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.

Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.

埋在花园里的枪

一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”

第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”

老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。

儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”

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