搞笑幽默英语笑话
从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面本站小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
搞笑幽默英语笑话1：
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."
一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，“小事都由我妻子决定，”他解释说：“而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。”
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
“听起来很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢?”
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
“嗯，”那个人回答说：“她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度假这些事情。”
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
他的朋友很惊奇的问道：“哦?那么你决定哪些重要事情?”
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
“嗯，”他回答：“我决定谁来当首相，我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助，怎么处理原子弹等等这些问题。”
搞笑幽默英语笑话2：
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
一个生意人走进一家酒馆，在吧台坐下，点了一杯加冰的双料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又让服务员把杯子满上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完，生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
这时酒馆的服务生说话了，“呃，老兄，我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题，但你得告诉我，你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来，那就说明我喝得差不多了，该回家了。”
搞笑幽默英语笑话3：
My husband was enjoying the day off from work and watched me scurry about the house.
丈夫正在过休息日，他看着我在屋子里来回奔忙。
I picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing, washed the breakfast dishes, wiped the coffee he'd spilled and ironed his shirts.
我捡起他在脏衣服，将他工作时穿的鞋子放到一边，拿走前一天晚上他看橄榄球时放在旁边放爆米花的碗，洗早餐的盘子，擦去他溅出的咖啡，熨他的衬衣。
Seeing a thoughtful look on his lace, I wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he created for me. Maybe he would offer to help. "A penny for your thoughts," I said.
看到他脸上若有所思的神情，我想他是不是开始意识到他给我添了许多不必要的麻烦，也许他还会帮帮忙呢!“给你一分钱，告诉我你在想什么?”
"I was thinking," he replied, "that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy."
“我在想，”他回答道，“你总能找到办法使自己忙个不停。这一点我很喜欢。”
以上就是本站小编为大家带来的搞笑幽默英语小故事，希望大家喜欢!
